Israel in 600 Words or Less
The more things change, the more they stay the same | Non-Fiction | Canned Soup
Since October 7, I haven’t really been able to write. For me, writing is a state in which you briefly release the suffocating grip of rationality and let your guts speak, but ever since this war broke out, my guts aren’t saying anything. It’s not that I don’t feel: I feel too much, all the time. But the things I’m feeling – whether sorrow or fury or loneliness – don’t lead anywhere. And when your gut goes silent, nothing meaningful can be written, at least not the way I write. My head is full of raw emotion and bits of information, things I need to remember so that I can say them to the next person who tells me Hamas is a legitimate resistance organization, or the next person who tells me that all Palestinians in Gaza are Hamas supporters and are therefore legitimate targets. My mind contains a lot of good answers to bad questions, and some fragmentary memories from my upsetting meetings with children and adults who lost their whole world on October 7—but other than that, not much else.
While desperately searching for an Alphabet-Soup-worthy piece of writing, I came across the first op-ed I ever wrote for a U.S. outlet. It was 22 years ago, during the Second Intifada. The nice editor of the weekly magazine’s culture section explained that readers were very interested in the Middle East, especially since 9/11, but knew almost nothing about the region. “It would be great,” he suggested, “if you could explain to our readers a little about the history of the conflict, the current geopolitical and human realities, and maybe some reflection on the future of the conflict and possible solutions. Oh, and if possible, we’d be happy if you could do it in 600 words or less.”
It was a rare opportunity to publish something in a U.S. magazine, and I seized it with both hands. Over two decades have gone by, and the Middle East has only grown messier. Hamas, now a proxy for Iran, has become even more radical; Israel has imposed a blockade on the Gaza Strip, essentially turning it into a giant prison; the cycles of violence have grown ever more vicious. But amid this deterioration, one thing remains constant: the world still longs to understand the hellish chaos in my part of the world, and I’m still here to try and explain our unfathomable reality as best I can—if possible, in 600 words or less.
My mother says I'll never be able to understand what it's like for a nation to be without a country. Now, my mom, she really knows what she's talking about. After all, she went through the Holocaust, saw her home destroyed in Poland, lost her mom and dad and little brother and finally ended up here, in the land of Israel, her country, the land she swore she would never leave.
My Palestinian friend Ghassan says I'll never be able to understand what it's like for a nation to live under occupation. No, he didn't go through the Holocaust, and his whole family is alive, thank God, at least for the time being. But he's had it up to here with the Israeli soldiers at the border checkpoint. "Sometimes you make it through the roadblock in a second or two, but sometimes, when they're bored, they can make you feel like life isn't worth living. They force you to wait for hours in the sun for no reason, to humiliate you. Just last week, they confiscated two packs of Kent Longs from me, simply because they felt like it. An 18-year-old kid with a rifle in his hand and a face full of zits just came and took them."
Adina, the neighbor from downstairs, says that I'll never be able to understand what it's like to lose a loved one in a suicide bombing. "No death can be more meaningless than that," she says. "My brother died for two reasons -- because he was Israeli and because he felt like having an espresso in the middle of the night. If you can think of any dumber reasons for dying, let me know. And there isn't even anyone to get mad at. After all, the guy that killed him is already dead himself, blown to pieces."
My mother says that we have no other place to go, that no matter where we go, we'll always be strangers, hated, Jews. Ghassan says that my country, the state of Israel, is an alien and strange entity and that there is nothing like it anywhere else in the world. There it is, in the middle of the Middle East, pretending to be in the heart of Europe, participating in the Eurovision song contest every year, making sure to send a soccer team to the European cup games, and it just doesn't get that it's located in the heart of the desert, surrounded by a Middle Eastern mentality that it refuses to acknowledge. Adina says we're living on borrowed time, that every time she sees the Palestinian children going wild with joy and handing out candy after every terror attack, she thinks about how these children are going to grow up. So I should stop all that nonsense about peace.
And if there is one thing that my mother, Ghassan and Adina have in common, it's that they are all certain, absolutely certain, that I simply can't understand what's going on in their heads.
But I'm actually pretty good at figuring out what's going on in other people's heads, sometimes, especially when times are bad. I even manage to make a living at it. All kinds of foreign publications call me and ask me to explain, if possible in 600 words or less, what people in Israel are thinking.
It's just a shame that I can't invent new thoughts for them, too -- ones that are a little less afraid, a little less hateful. Thoughts more positive, optimistic, compact, no more than 600 words.
This piece was first published by LA Weekly on December 07, 2001
Thank you, Etgar. I am so grateful for your words, perspective, and voice. I recently listened to your conversation with Lulu Garcia-Navarro. And I reflected after, how much your words, specifically the snippets I pasted below, helped me.
“This idea of people saying: Condemn this, condemn that. I don’t want anybody to condemn anything. I say, be human. You see somebody in pain, try to see that pain.”
“It’s the inability to say: I don’t know. I don’t understand. I’m confused. I have feelings, but I don’t have a structure around them. And it’s OK.”
“I think that in our souls, or our minds, or whatever you call it, there is something very complex, some ability to contain ambiguity, not to be swept with only one emotion. To be able to inhale the complexity of existing. And I must say that this became a challenge. It’s not as nonchalant as it used to be.”
I’m a middle-aged, white guy far from your home, far from Gaza. I recognize that maybe these sentiments resonate more with me because of my distance? But I think they resonate with me more because of their humanness....because of how much all of us have those sentiments....I suppose how much we can sit with them, allow them to be real, is the thing that defines so much of us now. I acknowledge I have the ability to do that, where others, closer to the reality of the violence, just may not....
I was a 21 year old living in New York City on 9/11. Trying to make sense of things. That’s when I first discovered your collection: Nimrod Flips Out. I then immediately chased down any work of yours I could find. So much is being said about post 9/11 reactions...I’m so grateful you helped shape so much of mine. You helped me learn how to hold complexity and not knowing in ny heart and mind a little bit longer than was comfortable. Thank you
This and your interview (the recorded one more so than the one edited for length and pauses) with the NYTimes was ... like being comforted by an old friend who is seated on the sofa next to me, weeping with me sharing my grief, confusion, anger, frustrations and fear. The premise of your piece here reminds me of how, after several antisemitic incidents I experienced by the teaching staff and the founding Dean (!) of my graduate-level program in Art Therapy(!!) obliged me to explain “Global Racism” in a game-show-type setting and under 90 seconds.(This came after I tried, with all my anger neatly tucked away - remembering that you can’t change heart and minds by showing how your anger and hurt are so deep at their obtuse, self-righteous arrogance and contempt - I spoke calmly with the Dean who said to our class “We all remember the Holocaust [really? Do we?] Well, many people have experienced their own Holocausts.” I gently reminded her of a recent Canadian study that showed most people do not know about The Holocaust and by the way, there are many genocide and only one The Holocaust, one Shoah.By grouping them altogether, a disservice is done in understating the distinctive realties of each one, how they came to be and how they can and should be stopped from happening. And again, there was only one The Holocaust.
Her response? “One of my best friends is an Israeli Art Therapist. I went to that place ... Vashem.” She apologized and said she would correct things at the next assembly. She did not. Instead, she repeated the exact words, prefaced by how sorry she was that “some people were offended”. I should add that this program (while excellent on teaching indigenous experiences and ways of healing, albeit mostly by white non-indigenous people🙄 and as though First Nations are homogenous in their respective cultures and coping mechanisms) did not have a single person of colour, refugee, new immigrant voice in any of the required readings. Nothing. (But hey, lots of Jews! Too bad about them being Jewish though and mostly Holocaust Survivors and children of Holocaust Survivors. What have they got to teach us about healing, am I right?) When I brought up the dearth of trauma from voices of people of colour, etc., we were sent a link to a site that had lots of articles about racism, including lots of antisemitic article, too.
They kicked me out of the program.
And they had no problem keeping my expensive tuition.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to make this about me. But it is is all these experiences - inducing those of us in Canada, in the diaspora - that make us feel intense pain and fear. Things we have grown up with been told to suppress by non-Jews (“that was so long ago ...” Really? Because my Jewish Montreal elementary school had bomb threats when In was growing up. Yours? Every Jewish institution around the world has high security. I have to prove I am safe to enter a shul in Rome, in Barcelona, in NYC and I have to feel safe entering ... but I can walk into the biggest Churches anywhere, I can take off my shoes and enter a Mosque, a Buddhist Temple ... no problem. I can walk into the YMCA without showing my passport, but not so much the YM-YWHA.
Sorry. I did it again.
Etgar, toda. So many of us are carrying these feeling alone even within the communities in which we live, grew up, moved away from. Jewish and non-Jewish. And we fear not only for ourselves, but ya, for ourselves, for our families, for those in our families who have hate in their hearts and whom we are trying to correct, and for those who loathe us. Still we fear for those who loathe us.